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Dan Liebke is a comedy writer and former Nathan Hauritz impersonator, who has written multiple books on cricket (the details of which are all available at his website, liebcricket.com). He is a genuine all-rounder, equally inept with both bat and ball, and he steadfastly believes that cricket is the funniest, and hence best, sport that humanity has ever invented.
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With the Gabba having stolen the duties of Weather Affected Test for the summer, Sydney’s traditional rain was replaced by a speeding portmanteau of…
One of the great MCG Tests saw record attendances and a dynamite finish, with Australia taking a 2-1 lead in the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. Here’s…
There was a lot of excitement heading into the third Test between Australia and India, both sides having succumbed to one (1) thrashing, but…
The Border-Gavaskar Trophy series is level at 1-1 after Australia bounced back in the second Test. Quite literally "bounced back" in the case of…
Australia were thrashed in the opening Test of the summer, succumbing to a 295-run defeat in Perth. Time to panic? Clearly, yes. There’s no…
At the beginning of this second Test between New Zealand and Australia, the Australians formed a guard of honour for Marais Erasmus standing in…
Australia, astonishingly, deigned to make the lengthy journey to New Zealand for their first Test series over there in eight years. Excited at the…
Having comfortably won the first Test against the West Indies, Australia faced a much bigger challenge in the second. Namely, the simultaneous India vs…
With David Warner retired from both Test cricket and the attendance of his siblings’ weddings, Australian cricket had spent the intervening period abuzz with…
To the SCG for David Warner’s farewell, which must have felt like a dream for the veteran opener. In particular, one of those dreams…
It is a known statistical fact that almost 70 per cent of viewers of the first day of the Boxing Day Test are fans…
It’s the first Test of the summer, with the Gabba inexplicably relocated to Perth. No cause for concern, though, as Australia recorded a 360-run…
Glenn Maxwell is a World Cup hero (again!), following his remarkable batting feats - including at least one batting feat that was accomplished without…
For the fifth and final Test of the Ashes series, Australia made just the one change to their team, with Todd Murphy replacing Cameron…
With heavy rain forecast for the fourth and fifth days of the Test, and Australia needing only a draw to retain the Ashes, they…
Most of the gap between the second and third Test was spent with fans from all around the world finding example after example of…
The second Test of the Ashes at Lord’s began with an interruption by Just Stop Oil protesters and only got crazier from that point.…
The women’s Ashes multi-format series began with the Test match at Trent Bridge. The match saw a significant milestone for Ellyse Perry who, in…
The first Ashes Test began with some magnificent trolling from Mitch Marsh, who, for reasons known only to himself, began marking his run-up shortly…
Australia’s warm-up for the Ashes and India’s warm-down from the IPL coincided with the World Test Championship final, a contest to determine once and…
I was pretty disappointed nobody shoved a baggy green in his mouth
The Liebke World Test Championship final report card: 'Cummins could have even let Gill have another hit'
Merv took 3 wickets from 3 consecutive balls over 3 overs and 2 innings. But it was all in the same match (last ball of one over, first ball of the next, ending the innings, then first ball he bowled in the following innings, for the record). Hence, a hat trick.
Jack Leach did not get 3 wickets from 3 consecutive balls in this Test (or any other). Jack Leach will not be on a hat trick.
The Liebke Report Card: Khawaja proves Warne principle, while Alpha Pat is most Australian captain ever
Look, it’s needlessly convoluted, I’ll grant you that. But then, so is cricket.
The Liebke report card: 'More nineties than downloading Alanis Morissette off Napster'
An excellent decision. Thank you.
The Liebke report card: 'More nineties than downloading Alanis Morissette off Napster'
Yes. And so is S**** W****.
'Tim Paine does ALL DRS calls' and Joe Root's other 'critical conditions' required for England to tour
That’s a fun idea, Tim. I think you should write it.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, first ODI
Further evidence for my theory that he’s now just a grumpy old retiree. “Marnus? What kind of name is that? Now, Marcus. That’s a proper name. Or Mark, which is even batter. I had a captain named Mark once.” “Brother, too, Steve.” “Hmmm? Oh, yes. I suppose so.”
The Liebke Ratings: India vs Australia, first ODI
Also unsportsmanlike. But also funny. So it’s all good.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs New Zealand, third Test
I was ridiculously pleased with myself when the possibility of working ‘one-up-Bradmanship’ into the piece came up.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Pakistan second Test
Nah. I didn’t say 144 was a base 12 number. But when you score as many runs as Steve Smith did in the first innings, that’s when you reach three figures in base 12. I think it’s pretty reasonable to therefore call 144 runs a century in base 12.
The Liebke Ratings: First Ashes Test
To be fair, they were some remarkable sixes
The Liebke Ratings: Second semi-final, Australia vs England
I will be starting a GoFundMe to help finance my ongoing battle to provide alternatives to articles about Israel Folau. Please donate generously. I estimate I need approximately $3M.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Bangladesh
Surely when a sport is played at so many grounds with ‘cricket’ in the title it just makes sense to use that as its name. Saves a lot of explanation.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka
Thanks Pete. Truth be told, I may have dozed off a little in the middle overs of Pakistan’s run chase. But I got the gist and woke up again in time to see the ending. And that’s all that matters.
The Liebke Ratings: Pakistan vs Australia
It’s very dumb, very obscure and not actually all that funny. I fully accept that I may be the only person even faintly tickled by the idea that ’63’ upside down looks enough like ‘Eg’ that I can do a bit of wordplay on that. I don’t care. It made me happy.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India
The font used on this page more or less gets the job done. If looked at in the right way.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India
Bonus points to anybody who deduces what my favourite joke in this entire piece is. Hint: it’s not very funny and is overly reliant on both font typefaces and spatial rotation. But I don’t care. It’s my favourite.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India
Paine should definitely be demoted to vice-captain immediately. What, he thinks he’s better than everybody else?
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka, first Test
Curse Sri Lanka and their determination to collapse over a long weekend
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs Sri Lanka, first Test
Thanks for buying the book. You’re the true hero here.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, second ODI
My parents have had a shocker. But they’re lovely people and I expect them to come good any time now. Deserve more opportunities at the highest level of my family.
The Liebke Ratings: Australia vs India, fourth Test
Thanks Yowie (and partner)
Everybody else, new book is Australian Cricket’s Best of the Best! Out now, in all good (and many terrible!) bookstores. Please buy it so I have more money. Thank you.
'Almost as if they HADN'T become squabbling, idiot blitherers who were too woke': The Liebke Report Card