1. To any casual viewers who tuned in – no, it’s normally not that exciting, don’t get used to it. However book tickets for England versus Australia to see how our ageing bowling line-up and dicey batting fare against the Bazball cult.
It’s also a series where the “resource gap” is a lot closer. Whenever Australia play countries other than India and England we have a massive advantage because of economic resources.
2. Indian cricket fans are, on the whole, infinitely better than English cricket fans – more family orientated, less drunk, more spread throughout the crowd. To be fair, the Barmy Army were the one world-class attack weapon of English cricket in the 1990s and even now they remain superior lyricists.
3. India would have kept the trophy if they had at least one other decent bowler… like, not even a great bowler, just a basically competent bowler who can, you know, pitch it outside off. Indian fans have every right to be proud of the fight their team showed, and anger at the quality of their fast bowling development program.
4. It’s time to consider turning the bulk of TV cricket commentary from ex-players over to AI, it’ll do just as good a job. There are some notable exceptions (eg Ricky Ponting, Simon Katich, Trent Copeland) but far too many wheezy pundits saying things like “that’s a good ball” or “it all comes down to this”.
Failing that, make them do more training, please, executives. If players can be dropped for poor performances, so should commentators. Go do some domestic cricket, get back into form, then wait to be picked again. Oh, and can we have fewer hair transplants, please?
5. Speaking of AI and hair transplants, isn’t it great how Michael Vaughan spotted fractures in the Australian dressing room after the first Test on the back of Josh Hazlewood’s comments? What a forensic investigator. What sharp eyed analysis of Australian team dynamics!
6. So, I’m confused… because Pat Cummins played well and we won, does that mean that climate change is real now? Tell me what to think, News Corp!
7. Crystal ball time. Some rash predictions:
a) Sam Konstas will be dropped after a few Tests but come back.
b) Peter Handscomb will be promoted to opener out of lack of alternatives. If I were a state batter who’s not a Big Bash slogger I’d be begging to open or play at No.3- that’s where the spots are.
c) Usman Khawaja will make one more big score (like a double century) then have an agonising string of awful scores until he puts us out of our misery with a retirement.
d) Marnus Labuschagne will discover a passion for opening after he’s threatened with being dropped from No.3.
e) Beau Webster will become the king of the gutsy half century and the “when will Beau Webster score a century” drumbeats will start very soon.
Jhye Richardson celebrates after taking the wicket of Sam Harper. (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)
8. Our pacemen all still good now but we need to blood new ones for when they start to go off the boil. There are a bunch around (Sean Abbott, Jhye Richardson, Fergus O’Neil) but we need to give them Tests, and soon.
9. The media campaign to downplay the failures of Mitch Marsh was relentless if not surprising, because it’s been such a consistent pattern over the past decade. In no universe is anyone with a first class average of 33 after 121 games among the best six batters in Australia.
And no, stringing together a couple of good Tests in a row and winning the Allan Border Medal does not make you among the top six batters in the country, it just just means you strung a couple of good Tests in a row after endless opportunities.
Marsh has played 46 Tests which could have gone (if you wanted someone who could bowl) to, say, Glenn Maxwell, Aaron Hardie, Cameron White, Marcus Stoinis, Andrew McDonald, or Ashton Turner (even Michael Neser has a batting average of 29 at first class level – and his bowling is far superior to Marsh’s).
Marsh genuinely seems like nice person, and he clearly has a personal magnetism because he’s not just enraptured Pat Cummings and Andrew McDonald but others – Darren Lehman and Justin Langer were massive Marsh fans, as was Michael Clarke.
Even Glenn Maxwell gushes about Mitch Marsh in his book, even though Marsh’s 46 Tests might have gone to Maxi.
Some media commentators the other day – commentators I otherwise really like – said “procedural fairness” demanded Marsh’s selection for the first four Tests, without bringing up that he has routinely been selected over the past decade on the basis of procedural unfairness.
Once again, people don’t hate him. I’m sure he’s lovely. He seems lovely. White-ball, great. He’s had some fabulous Tests. People hate that someone with a first class average of 33 after 121 games is picked as a top six batter. Anyway he’ll probably go to Sri Lanka.
10. This is a very good Australian side and that was a terrific series, one of the best in recent memory (if you’re Australian – Indians will feel differently). The team needs to beat India in India and England in England to be a great side.
Still, it’s better than the teams under Justin Langer, Darren Lehmann, Mickey Arthur and late period Tim Nielsen. There’s nothing wrong with being a very, very good side.
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